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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455236">I Didn't Know</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom'>molstrom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Veronica Mars (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:21:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,214</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/molstrom/pseuds/molstrom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Veronica remembers flashes of having sex with Norris at Shelly's party. Non-Canon. She was never with Duncan that night and wasn't raped by Cassidy.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Norris Clayton/Veronica Mars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Didn't Know</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The day I break up with Logan I expect to dream about him or random things, but instead, my dream is flashes of that night at Shelly’s…The party I barely remember thanks to the drugged drink Madison gave me. The flashes in my dream don’t make sense. </p>
<p>I see Norris’s face above me, feel the weight of his body against mine, feel his mouth on me, and can feel him pushing into me. I wake up panicking, thinking it was Norris who raped me, but…That doesn’t make sense, because I feel desire too. I start to talk to myself to try to understand:<br/>	“Norris has always protected you, Veronica. He wouldn’t rape you. Just breathe. Talk to him. I’m sure he can explain. I wonder if he’s back from Japan yet?”</p>
<p>I check my clock and realize it’s morning…Early morning, but not an unreasonable time to call someone. I pick up my phone and lay back on my pillow as I dial Norris’s number. When he answers he sounds like I woke him up:<br/>	“Hello?”<br/>	“Hi, Norris. It’s Veronica. I’m sorry. Did I wake you up?”<br/>	“Yeah, but it’s fine. What’s up, Veronica?”<br/>	“I need to talk to you about something…In person. Can we meet somewhere?”<br/>	“Um…You can come over. My parents are away.”<br/>	“Can I come over now? I have to work later.”<br/>	“Yeah.”<br/>	“Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit.”</p>
<p>I hang up and quickly go shower and get dressed before shoving my work uniform in my bag and leaving my room. I find Dad in the living room and say:<br/>	“I have an errand to run before going to work. You’re on Backup duty.”<br/>	“Fine. Fine. Will you be home for dinner?”<br/>	“Yup. I’ll even be home early enough to cook.”<br/>	“Excellent.”<br/>I kiss the top of his head and walk out of the apartment.</p>
<p>When I park in front of Norris’s house I take a few deep breaths before getting out and walking to the door. He opens it as I get there and smiles at me before stepping back and letting me in. As he closes the door he says:<br/>	“We can talk in my room.”<br/>	“Can we talk out here?”<br/>	“Veronica, are you afraid of me?”<br/>	“I don’t know.”<br/>I walk away from him and sit on the couch with my knees pulled up to my chest. When he sits down near me, but not touching me, I say:<br/>	“I had the strangest dream last night. About a night I have no memory of. Of you on top of me…Inside of me. Care to shed some light on the subject, lover?”<br/>	“What do you mean you don’t remember that night? I thought you were just ashamed of it…Of me. I didn’t think…Jesus, Veronica. Why don’t you remember?”<br/>	“Madison handed me a drink when I got there. It had GHB in it. She didn’t know.”<br/>	“Who drugged the drink?”<br/>	“Dick. But he gave it to Madison. I don’t blame him for that. I do blame him for the shots he poured down my throat while I was barely conscious though. I figured all this out, and how I got to the guest room…But not how I woke up the next morning sore and bleeding, and without my panties…So, care to fill me in?”<br/>	“I was looking for the bathroom. I opened the door to the guest room and you were lying on the bed. I covered you with a blanket and used the bathroom in there. As I was walking back towards the door you woke up. You said my name. You reached for me. I sat on the edge of the bed and asked if you wanted me to take you home. You said no, you asked me to stay with you. You kissed me. Honestly, I didn’t know you were drugged. I thought you were just drunk like I was. You pulled me down on top of you, asked me to make love to you.”</p>
<p>He moves closer to me on the couch and takes my hand in his.<br/>	“Veronica…I would never do anything to hurt you. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”<br/>I stare at our connected hands and say:<br/>	“Was I awake the whole time? Was I participating?”<br/>	“Yeah. You were.”<br/>	“Did you use a condom?”<br/>	“Of course. You tried to convince me I didn’t have to, but I figured that was the booze talking.”<br/>	“Just the once?”<br/>	“No. Three times. Twice and then we both fell asleep…Then once more after.”<br/>	“Why did you leave me there? Why did I wake up alone, searching for my underwear?”<br/>	“When I had to leave you didn’t want to. You told me just to leave you there.”<br/>	“Why did you listen?”<br/>	“Because I thought you were just drunk! I never would have left you there if I knew…Veronica…I’m so sorry.”<br/>	“Why didn’t you say anything? At school? When I was here? Why didn’t you say anything?”<br/>	“I thought we just weren’t talking about it. I thought you regretted it. I never thought you didn’t remember it. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”<br/>	“When I woke up I thought I had been raped. For the past year, I thought I had been raped.”<br/>	“I’m so sorry, Veronica. I’m so sorry you thought that, that you felt that way. I never…”</p>
<p>I move my legs away from my chest and shift in my seat so I’m straddling him. He sharply inhales and says:<br/>	“Veronica…”<br/>	“Part of what I remembered last night was the feeling.”<br/>	“What feeling?”<br/>	“Desire. I wanted you. I didn’t want you to stop touching me.”<br/>	“But how much of that was the drugs or the alcohol?”<br/>	“I don’t know.”<br/>	“So what’s the plan here, Veronica?”<br/>I put my hands on his neck and run my thumbs along his jaw as he lifts his head to look up at me. When he does I lean down and kiss him, moaning against his mouth when he runs his hands over my back and opens his mouth to me. </p>
<p>When we pull apart, I rest my forehead on his and say:<br/>	“Apparently, not so much.”<br/>	“Not so much, what?”<br/>	“Not so much of the feeling was the drugs or the alcohol.”<br/>	“So what do you want, Veronica?”<br/>	“You. I want you. Norris, give me a first time that I can remember. Please? Make love to me.”<br/>	“You never slept with Logan?”<br/>	“No.”</p>
<p>He stands up, holding me to him as I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I kiss him as he carries me to his bedroom and lays me down on his bed.<br/>	“Are you sure, Veronica?”<br/>	“Yes. I’m sure. Please, Norris.”<br/>	“Is this just sex, Veronica?”<br/>	“No? Unless you want it to be.”<br/>	“Veronica, I have been in love with you since we were thirteen. No. I don’t just want it to be sex.”<br/>	“Good. You should come over for dinner tonight after my shift at the hut.”<br/>	“Yeah. Okay.”<br/>	“Can we move on to the sex portion of the day now?”<br/>	“Yeah, yeah we can.”<br/>	“Good.”<br/>I pull him down to me and kiss him again while I run my hands down his chest and abdomen to his belt.</p>
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